POETRY BY KAITLYN BUHRMAN

TW: LOSS, ALLUSION TO SUICIDAL IDEATION

Resurrection

I already buried that part of me
The part of me that had
Weakness for you
Has hardened to a pit,
& all at once a fruit
Bloomed around it: the
recovered realization that I am not
a half, waiting
No, again,
I am done waiting

And my anger
Sometimes it fuels me
Fools me into self-righteous thinking
I’m delighting in it just for now, just
To feel some kind of energy
I guess I could thank you for that

-

Edges

I can’t promise you anything, you said, in a way
That was itself a promise
And I am thinking about the last year of my life
And the last year of your life
How fast and how slow it went
How the therapist said the first year is the hardest
I believed her but I think you didn’t

You don’t want it to be hard
To have a woman with edges
But you are just like me
All blood and flesh and regret,
Nostalgia for things that never happened
The way I remember them,
Loyalty to things that haven’t happened yet
​
And I thought it may kill me to lose you
But maybe I’m better off dead

Kaitlyn Buhrman is an artist & poet from Philadelphia. She's currently retired in the Keys with her pug, Lenni. Find her and her work on Instagram: @grim.k_ & @grim.art_